Difference between revisions of "Horus"
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== Description == | == Description == | ||
| + | Horus is the son AND brother of Osiris and Isis, founder of the band Oasis, as well as founder of the terror group Isis, named fondly after his mother. He was originally the brother of Osiris and Isis, then a variety of cults were like "Nah bitch, that's yo mom and dad lmao." Now he is primarily regarded as their son. Some even see Horus as the pharaoh, however as time went on, most now see the pharaoh as the son of Ra, rather than a continuing deity. | ||
| + | |||
| + | His earliest form is protector/guardian of the Nekhen in upper Egypt. He is said to be the sky, and also containing the Sun and Moon into that, his right eye being the sun and his left being the moon. He would take the form of a falcon, and fly around the flat earth, thus causing the sun and moon to rise. He is often associated with the falcon, or depicted as one, though sometimes he'd be depicted as a man with the head of a falcon. He actually had a hand in starting the dog fighting situation with Michael Vick, who at the time played for the Atlanta Falcons. | ||
=== Abilities === | === Abilities === | ||
| + | Horus is a god with far superior physical abilities than that of a human. He has the ability to transform in to a fully armored falcon. His crazy eyes gives him perfect vision. He is a competent fighter with both swords and unarmored. | ||
== Tale == | == Tale == | ||
| + | Horus had other brothers, one of them being the god of the desert, Set. Horus and Set were the two whiny mother fuckers all the time. "Who's gonna take dad's spot? Wahh, wahh wahhh." Also Set killed Osiris, the father/brother of Horus and brother of Set. One day they were like, "Aight bitch, mano-a-mano, in the cage, Big John McCain as ref, you and me!" They fight it out in various competitions, with Horus coming out on top each time. Set, being the little bitch he is, cries to the other deities. They say "Horus is the King." | ||
| + | |||
| + | Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having sexual intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set's semen, then subsequently throws it in the river so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listened to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and called his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listened to Horus's claim of having dominated Set, and called his semen forth, and it answered from inside Set. In the struggle, Set had lost a testicle, explaining why the desert, which Set represented, is infertile. Horus's left eye had also been gouged out. | ||
== Statistics == | == Statistics == | ||
| Line 23: | Line 30: | ||
|style="width: 100px; text-align: center;" |Loss | |style="width: 100px; text-align: center;" |Loss | ||
|style="width: 100px; text-align: center;" |[[Horus a.k.a. He Once Came Upon Lettuce | 20]] | |style="width: 100px; text-align: center;" |[[Horus a.k.a. He Once Came Upon Lettuce | 20]] | ||
| + | |- | ||
| + | |style="width: 250px; text-align: center;" |vs. [[Bastet]] | ||
| + | |style="width: 100px; text-align: center;" |Win | ||
| + | |style="width: 100px; text-align: center;" |[[Bastet a.k.a. Irresponsible Randal | 32]] | ||
|} | |} | ||
Latest revision as of 16:34, 15 January 2019
| Horus |
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The Egyptian Sky God, Horus, of great wits and strength, first appeared in episode 20, Horus a.k.a. He Once Came Upon Lettuce.
Description
Horus is the son AND brother of Osiris and Isis, founder of the band Oasis, as well as founder of the terror group Isis, named fondly after his mother. He was originally the brother of Osiris and Isis, then a variety of cults were like "Nah bitch, that's yo mom and dad lmao." Now he is primarily regarded as their son. Some even see Horus as the pharaoh, however as time went on, most now see the pharaoh as the son of Ra, rather than a continuing deity.
His earliest form is protector/guardian of the Nekhen in upper Egypt. He is said to be the sky, and also containing the Sun and Moon into that, his right eye being the sun and his left being the moon. He would take the form of a falcon, and fly around the flat earth, thus causing the sun and moon to rise. He is often associated with the falcon, or depicted as one, though sometimes he'd be depicted as a man with the head of a falcon. He actually had a hand in starting the dog fighting situation with Michael Vick, who at the time played for the Atlanta Falcons.
Abilities
Horus is a god with far superior physical abilities than that of a human. He has the ability to transform in to a fully armored falcon. His crazy eyes gives him perfect vision. He is a competent fighter with both swords and unarmored.
Tale
Horus had other brothers, one of them being the god of the desert, Set. Horus and Set were the two whiny mother fuckers all the time. "Who's gonna take dad's spot? Wahh, wahh wahhh." Also Set killed Osiris, the father/brother of Horus and brother of Set. One day they were like, "Aight bitch, mano-a-mano, in the cage, Big John McCain as ref, you and me!" They fight it out in various competitions, with Horus coming out on top each time. Set, being the little bitch he is, cries to the other deities. They say "Horus is the King."
Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having sexual intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set's semen, then subsequently throws it in the river so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listened to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and called his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listened to Horus's claim of having dominated Set, and called his semen forth, and it answered from inside Set. In the struggle, Set had lost a testicle, explaining why the desert, which Set represented, is infertile. Horus's left eye had also been gouged out.
Statistics
Basic human in solid physical and mental form represents about a 3 in the numbered stats.
| Strength (1-10) | 9 |
|---|---|
| Speed (1-10) | 7 |
| Intelligence (1-10) | 7 |
| Durability (1-10) | 10 |
| Vulnerabilities | Sun Blindness |
| Special | Crazy Eyes, Armored Falcon Form |
Fight Club Results
| Battle | Result | Episode |
|---|---|---|
| vs. Leshen and Epona | Loss | 20 |
| vs. Bastet | Win | 32 |
